Allegedly failed.. !!

By Suleman Saadat Khan.

‘Apnay department se original marks sheet nikalwain phir ana’, this sentence was inculcated in my mind by semester cell personnel so strongly that I could have forgotten my name but not my problem.
My bad timing started the moment I received my 2nd semester proforma. God knows how hard I work before every terminal examination of mine. Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I study hard not to get the top grades in class ofcourse, but to pass in every subject so that when I show my proforma to my respected parents I can get a little less scolding.

Yeah, let’s get back to my story. I received my second semester proforma and was shocked to discover that I was fail in English. Not by 2 or 4 marks, but I had failed with precious figure of 10! I’ve quite a remarkable memory, speaking honestly, so I ran back home to check my notebook where I had copied my marks. I was pass in English, and had 79 marks in total. The result was wrongly printed in proforma.

The very next day I swiftly made my way towards department office and told them what my problem was. ‘Dekhain ye problem semester cell walon ka hai un se pata karen’..... ‘OK’ was all I could utter in response. Under the scorching heat of sun, I traveled from new building to semester cell and was greeted by a tired and weary looking man whose tone was obviously not welcoming. ‘Mujhe samajh nahe ata ap sab yahan chaley atey hain, ap ko pata nahe andar sirf staff members a saktay hain?” After listening to his contemptuous and stinging words, I told him my problem. “Wapis department jao aur original marks sheet nikalwao”, he said.

I again headed back to my department and asked office personnel to show me the marks sheet. “Wait karo”, a person said, and I did. He started combing all the files one by one. After hard work of 20 minutes all he told me was “Mujhe nahe pata kahan rakhi hai, Jameel sahib kal aingay unse lena”.

Next day, Jameel sahib appeared like an angel! I ran towards him and asked him to give marks sheet. He finally managed to find MY sheet and I made my way towards semester cell again, all alone, without conveyance ofcourse. I saw a great number of students there with a great number of complaints. I waited, and when my turn came I showed that man my marks sheet, happily. “Is pe teacher kay signature kahan hain?’, he said. I was infuriated!. I came back to my department and found that teacher will be gone for 2 weeks. Finally when she came I got her signature on paper and headed towards semester cell, again. It was a hot day and I wanted no more of it. I showed them my marks sheet again and waited. After 25 minutes a man appeared from inside and said “Wo humara admi kuch dino k liye bahar gaya hai, wo a kar computer men ap k result ki correction karey ga..men pen se ap k proforma men correction kar deta hun”. ‘If I had wanted a “pen correction” then I could have done it myself idiot!’ I said to myself. I was fuming.

I finally got hold of my dear uncle who’s a head of a respected department in KU, he took my original sheet, my proforma and went to semester cell. In less than 10 minutes he appeared from inside and told me my result was corrected ELECTRONICALLY and I could get my new proforma in a week with a submission of application. I thanked him but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about those poor souls who, like me, fail in proformas and have no uncles in university who’re department heads. All I could utter at moment was “chalen uncle chai hojaye!”